I Love My Parents, I Swear

I told my parents about it. They were cool. My mom (of course) wondered if it had anything to do with the pictures on my facebook. My facebook has the highest security settings possible and is under a name that isn't mine. But she still emails me every other month or so telling me she wants me to clean it up just a little bit. Moms. I showed them some emails from my boss at NASA and an email I'd gotten from my "new boss" in which they'd both said very kind things about how they were sad not to have me anymore and that I had done great work. That calmed my parents down, and we let it sink in for a minute. We all said let out depressed sighs. Back to square one.

They explained that this just meant that now applying to jobs had to be my full time job. "We're your bosses now," my mom said with a little mom-ish chuckle. Ugh. I have to find a job right away because as much as I love my parents they are some of the biggest pains in the ass when it comes to job stuff. The world has changed a lot since they had to apply for jobs, and it's weird for them that smoke signals are no longer accepted as a legitimate resume. Also, they were both accountants which is like, a legitimate major that companies actually want, so their situations had been inherently different to begin with.

Can I really argue though? I'm living at their house, after all! UGH. I hate being in situations where I have no choice, considering I'm young and spontaneous and often the bad choices are the more fun ones.

Since I had nothing else to do that day, I started applying right away. I surfed indeed.com and idealist.com (both awesome for finding jobs). I sent out applications and cover letters to about to about ten jobs. As part of my new situation, my mom told me that I had to cc her on every job I applied to. "We believe that you're applying, it's just hard to keep it in mind when we never hear from you. CCing is so easy, anyway!" I told her I felt like a fourth grader and she told me to get used to it because that's what the working world was like. Ok mom, whatever you say.

That night I hung out with some friends, and one of them (Nathan) was in a similar position. I told them about losing the other job, and he said "Welcome to the Funemployed Club. It's a very exclusive club, and we're getting rid of members all the time." He told me about how he'd been talking to another friend of ours, Aaron (who was also in the 'club'), who'd said "I could kind of get used to this. It's not a bad deal. I wake up whenever I want, watch ESPN in the basement and eat cereal, occasionally pull out my computer to seem like I'm doing something. The other day I told my mom I had an interview but I actually just put on a suit and went to Starbucks for an hour." I realized my parents should be thanking their lucky stars.

When I got home, I checked my email and my mom had replied to every single CC with critiques about what I had done wrong. She concluded with an email saying, "You're not going to get any of these jobs. Do better tomorrow." Man, my boss sucks.

I Talk About Twitter Way Too Much in This Entry

After finishing my first round at NASA, I tweeted (yes, I have a twitter too. I am such a douche and a slave to pop culture, I know. Thank God I don't have cable or I'd be a lost cause) something like "DOOOOONE!! I feel so freeeeee!" One of my good friends, who had also just finished working a similarly pointless and boring summer gig texted me to congratulate me and follow up on the tweet. For those of you unfamiliar with twitter, this is rather common. Unlike facebook which has the ability to air every conversation so that anyone who wants to can read it,  twitter forces its users into some kind of non-displayed personal contact. Which is why for people who think that twitter is too 'self absorbed,' I say they should try it first. I actually far prefer it to facebook. I originally got it so that I could get news updates to my phone, and got caught up in it pretty quickly.

WOW sorry for the ridiculous digression, allow me to continue with my tale. My friend asked what I was going to do with my two weeks of freedom and I told him I would do nothing and love every minute of it. He asked me why not up the ante a little and do nothing with him at Myrtle Beach for a week. (Found out later that he had originally invited a supa hot babe that he was hoping to nail, but she had to back out at the last minute so I was the second best choice :) ). Obviously, I had this new job, had a few dwindling weeks to enjoy the remainder of my adolescense, I was in like sin and jumped at the chance. Went to Myrtle Beach, was living it up, and on my fourth day catchin rays at the beach, I get the call from my 'new boss.' "I'm so sorry. Funding fell through. I really like you, was really counting on this working out. We really need someone just like you to fill this role but unfortunately it will just not work out."






It took a minute for it to sink in. Juuuust great. The whole summer had been a waste, I might as well have done Camp. But there was nothing I could do about it then. And one thing you will quickly realize about me is that I just don't care about most things. Well, that's not true. I do care. A lot. I just don't get real worked up about them, especially when I'm a) at Myrtle Beach with b) No Internet and c) Nothing I can do about it anyway. So, besides getting a lot more drunk that night than I usually would have (which is saying something) I didn't really let it affect my mood too much. Until the ride home when I realized that I had to tell my parents. Last time I'd talked to my parents, I'd been telling them about this awesome new job I got and how excited I was about it. They were home right now waiting for me to get there and fill them in on all the exciting details. So naturally, I did what any mature adult would do: I went over to my friend's house and hung out there until I knew my parents would be asleep. I'd break it to them tomorrow.

The Back Story

The summer after graduation started off really great. For a few months leading up to it, I was buggin out because despite applying to >200 jobs, NOTHING was coming through for me. So I had lined up a job working at the Camp I'd been employed at the previous summer. However, my family had different ideas. Don't do something you'll like, do something that will look good on your resume. So my amazing brother worked his magic and landed me a job at NASA. Now, for those of you who have never had the 'privilege' of working for NASA before, let me just tell you that it leads to a lot of impressed comments and raised eyebrows. Wow, you work at NASA? Are you an astronaut? Or, Ooooo NASA?? What was your major?

People who really know me quickly caught on to what a JOKE that all was, because I often discussed the endless days of doing absolutely nothing that my job at NASA embodied. I mean, let me tell you, I became an EXPERT on free online games (check out Digitz for a real treat). And those who hung out with me on the reg definitely realized it because of the late, late, late nights (I'm a night owl, no doubt about it) and copious, copious, copious amounts of alcohol I'd consume during them. Toward the end of every night, I'd drunkenly get a countdown going. "Guys, seriously, I can't drink that. I have to go to work in 4 hours." "Guys... stop. No beer bongs. I have work in three hours." Take it from one who knows, the only thing worse than hours of counting down the minutes til you can leave is doing it with a rip roaring hang over.

But still, in the back of many minds, I think a pervasive idea was, "She works at NASA, she has to have some semblance of her shit together." Ohhhh how quickly things change. Three months later, horrible economy + space exploration + brand new employee = hello layoff!! Sure, they tried to work something out for me. They got my hopes up so damn high that I told many of my friends that I'd landed a new gig, no harm no foul. I was introduced to my 'new boss,' who showed me around my 'new office,' introduced me to all my 'new co-workers.' She gave me the insurance packets and told me to pick one. She told me who I'd report to on certain issues and who I couldn't talk to about other things. She literally said to me, "WORST CASE SCENARIO, we won't be able to offer you quite as much as you'd be making if this other company had hired you, but it's unlikely." Just take two weeks off and come in on Monday to sign the contract while we get the paper work moving through.

Well, apparently someone needs to explain to this lady that to most people, getting less money than requested is NOT a worse case than not getting a job at all.

The Situation

I always judge shows like the Real World and Jersey Shore very harshly as making a mockery of American culture/being stupid/making me want to gouge my eyes out. But last night I watched the Jersey Shore for the first time and have to admit, I was highly amused. Afterward, we were talking about it (ok, recapping it minute by minute) and I said, "It's just so ridiculous, their entire lives are charades. We're just sitting here mocking their very existences." This morning, I was thinking about that and realized that Oh my gosh, I'm in no position to judge the people from JERSEY SHORE. New low.

And so, while I anxiously redouble my already in overdrive job search efforts, I am also going to write about the journey to hopefully show some kind of happy ending/forward motion in my life instead of just being an obnoxious, lush, waste of life who lives at my parents house for the next couple of years. But time will tell. And so will this blog.

Ugh, I'm a blogger now? Can I sink any lower?

I have more written, but want to publish it gradually so that this doesn't become one of those things with an enormous first entry and then just a few lines here and there afterward. Check back again soon for the next entry.